Near the end.......

How many times do you thank the Lord for taking away from you that which the mind wants but the hear is against, or that which the heart wants but the heart can not get?
When do we get reminded about time wasted...

chances never taken...
opportunities missed......
mistakes made....?

When do we remember time is not on our side or that it has never been on our side since the day we let out our first cry?
At the beginning of each year...
we draft resolutions....
make vows not to repeat the same mistakes we did the previous year...
We make plans not to fall into the same traps we fell for, we plan to avoid and cut off people who have brought us nothing but pain in our lives.
We plan ways of making more than we did forgetting that we have been living to see the end of each month instead of living to celebrate each day as it comes.
We plan and plan, forgetting that life is what happens while we are busy planning.
We marvel and praise those brave enough to cast their fears away and follow their gut feelings/hearts&intuition.
We call them lucky to have found mentors/person of reference. We call them lucky for having comfortable family backgrounds to afford to fund their ideas.
Instead of asking them how much of the "expensive hobbies" they had to sacrifice to get the attention they are enjoying now, we call them lucky.
Instead of asking what choices they had to make, we call them fortunate....
Instead of asking ourselves "what are we doing wrong?", we find fault in all those making it big each day.
We always have enough to get us through each weekend.
We always celebrate and spend on alcohol, materialistic possessions with little/no sentimental value.
We always have enough data to "like" posts on social platforms, criticize and entertain posts that have to do with other people's dirty laundry being aired in public.
We hardly research about our dreams...
We hardly follow disciplined individuals or business analyst.
We hardly invest or spend on those who can still have all that we missed out on, esp education...
We hardly encourage our cousins/half brothers/siblings,etc to do better than we did because we fear the very same people we were trying to impress by spending all we had on them will turn around and say: "but look at your younger brother,he is doing way better than you. You have always been a failure."

A small reminder to myself and maybe you as well:
"The past is one aspect of our lives we can never alter. We can never change it but can accept it and learn from mistakes made. Without learning, one never grows."
Near the end of it all, what pops to mind is regret.
We regret having a trusting nature.
We regret wearing our hearts on our sleeves.
We regret giving certain people a second 3rd/4th chance.
We regret opportunities we failed to capitalize on.
We regret not acting fast enough.
We regret not acting too fast
We regret not acting at all...
We regret, regret and regret some more.

What we hardly do is:
 (1) Ask ourselves what lessons can we gather from our actions?
 (2) We don't stand back and see what missing certain opportunities might have saved us from losing our essence and humility.
 (3) We hardly ask ourselves "why now Lord", instead, we curse God and everyone else for not getting what is not meant for us in the first place.
(4) We never ask those who have a broader view and perspective of what we have become for an honest feedback on "how we are really doing or what are we gravitating towards becoming.
Near the end of it all, only then do we realize how much we have messed up, wasted and squandered.
Let this be your wake up call.
Treat each day like it was your last few days left to make a difference.
Treat each morning as if it was your first morning waking up with dedication to go out there and be the difference you want to see in our life.
Be the change you want to see in your life.
Learn from your mistakes and never be too big headed to admit you messed up.
Life is a lifelong lesson with no test being the exactly the same as the next person's. Live it to the fullest and be proud of your achievements, small or big....

Cherish what you have....

You are a King/Queen, fooled to believing that you are nothing more than what you are told you are.

"May you be given wings to fly, roots to ground and remind you about where you have been and an abundance of water to sustain/nourish/replenish your soul in times of hardships."

What really matters......?

There are a few things in life that we all have to anticipate or have to deal sooner or later. As much as we strive to have as a lot of happy moments as opposed to difficult times, we can not turn a blind eye or run away from what might unexpectedly hit us. There will always be ups and downs, there will always be troubles and curve balls life will throw at you. There has been cases of educated and well paid individuals living on the streets after years of leading a successful lives. There has been cases of individuals who grew up with nothing and are leading firms/companies worth millions and millions of rands/dollars.
The difference between a successful person and one who hasn't made it yet is how the one who is successful reacted to what life dished out to him unexpectedly as opposed to the one who hasn't grasped the lessons life is trying to teach through harsh experiences/situations/circumstances. Your attitude towards any situation will always determine your altitude or how far you make it in life. How you choose to deal with a situation turns out to be testament that you are maturing well. That you are on a path that no one or nothing can derail you from. Have you ever asked yourself how does one gather wisdom? Have you never questioned yourself how certain individuals you aspire to be like manage to walk tall as if their lives have always been perfect? Have you ever asked yourself what is the person next to you going through or has been through?
Till you find answers to those questions, you will never appreciated your strength, abilities and capabilities. Till you understand that you are not the only one going through a rough patch, you will learn the hard way how to let go of that which you have no control over and focus on that which you can still change or improve on.

Self pity and regrets will lead you nowhere fast. They will hinder your progress and blind you from seeing possible opportunities/solutions to change your current circumstances. The only person who will get you out of what you are going through currently is yourself. Life happens for a reason, till you discover that reason, do not give up on what keeps your heart pumping and optimistic about a better tomorrow. Till that day comes, do not allow your past mistakes to hinder you and cloud your emotions. Till that day comes, focus more on what you can do better or differently.
What really matters in life is not where you have been but where you ultimately want to end up eventually. What really matters is what you can change in the present day and time instead of trying to change the hands of time. Wisdom is gained through bad decisions/choices/circumstances and problems inherited from family politics and unresolved issues.
What matters is how you pick yourself up after each fall/stumble. What really matters is your approach to life and the path you find yourself in versus the direction of the journey you want to take.
No one will believe in your dreams and aspirations more than you would. Believing in yourself and abilities is important.

2014 till the past month (June 2015) Has been a rough year to me, not only financially but emotionally as well. A lot happened, a lot of pain was unleashed. A few dreams were derailed, rejection was the order of each and every day. Friends turned their backs on me. Others pretended to have my back, spoke well of me in front of potential clients only to discredit me behind closed doors based on my past failures and mistakes. Others folded their arms and waited for me to exhaust all options and everything I had.
At first, I took all that negatively. Drank a lot. Cried a bit and locked myself up in a world that no one could find or reach me.
I allowed myself to be numb, distanced myself from everyone. At first, that seemed to be of some help. It felt good not explaining myself to anyone. What i didn't realize then was that, the more i shut the world out was the more the world evolved and progressed right in front of my eyes. That is how I got left out and missed out on opportunities and chances to advance myself in life or change my situation.
Truth be told, we all have ourselves to blame for everything that  we are or have become. Life will happen the way it was meant to happen, there is little we can do to change fate, but we have the power to control how we react to every situation we find ourselves in.
One evening of drinking in the dark by myself, I suddenly realized how I have failed to learn one simple lesson about life: " No one owes you anything in this world. You owe it to yourself to be what you aspire to be."
That hit me hard and made me look back at how much time, resources and opportunities I had lost through how I have been reacting to all the rejection and ill treatment from family, friends and colleagues. I could have made the choice to stand on my own 15 years ago, who knows, maybe I would have traveled half the world as I had traveled half of South Africa. I could have started my company earlier and helped more young men realize the importance of self belief and grow an understanding on what it means to be "a man". Maybe i could have met half the individuals I look up to and gather knowledge on how to follow on their footsteps and carry on from where they have left off.
"Maybe" and "If only..." are words I can not live by anymore but can reflect on and learn from.
" I will" and "I can" are words I have adopted and will live by for as long as I am alive and are willing to pick myself up and give life a second third shot.
As a young man, i encourage you not to be a victim of your circumstances or imagination. Do away with: " what if things don't work out"? Do away with: "If people with degrees and PhD's can't make it, who am I to think i can do it?"
You have control over what you want to achieve. If you can dream and think it about it, surely you can apply yourself into doing it and maintaining it.
Do not be dismayed by what life might throw at you. Do not be dissuaded by your age or achievements thus far, or let those who have not yet been exposed to the harsh realities the majority of the population is currently living under get to you/break you down.
As long as you have good health, determination, courage and hope, strength and good planning, nothing will stop you from achieving all that you dream of achieving.
You have made it thus far, fix yourself and invest more energy, time and dedication towards shaping your today in preparation for a better tomorrow.

My name is Sithembile Ngcobo, a young man learnig to let go of what has been and focus on what could be. Who are you and what are you prepared to learn to let go?

" Life is what you choose it to become, you have no one to blame for how it turns out like if you do not take control of it."