The difference between a successful person and one who hasn't made it yet is how the one who is successful reacted to what life dished out to him unexpectedly as opposed to the one who hasn't grasped the lessons life is trying to teach through harsh experiences/situations/circumstances. Your attitude towards any situation will always determine your altitude or how far you make it in life. How you choose to deal with a situation turns out to be testament that you are maturing well. That you are on a path that no one or nothing can derail you from. Have you ever asked yourself how does one gather wisdom? Have you never questioned yourself how certain individuals you aspire to be like manage to walk tall as if their lives have always been perfect? Have you ever asked yourself what is the person next to you going through or has been through?
Till you find answers to those questions, you will never appreciated your strength, abilities and capabilities. Till you understand that you are not the only one going through a rough patch, you will learn the hard way how to let go of that which you have no control over and focus on that which you can still change or improve on.
Self pity and regrets will lead you nowhere fast. They will hinder your progress and blind you from seeing possible opportunities/solutions to change your current circumstances. The only person who will get you out of what you are going through currently is yourself. Life happens for a reason, till you discover that reason, do not give up on what keeps your heart pumping and optimistic about a better tomorrow. Till that day comes, do not allow your past mistakes to hinder you and cloud your emotions. Till that day comes, focus more on what you can do better or differently.
What really matters in life is not where you have been but where you ultimately want to end up eventually. What really matters is what you can change in the present day and time instead of trying to change the hands of time. Wisdom is gained through bad decisions/choices/circumstances and problems inherited from family politics and unresolved issues.
What matters is how you pick yourself up after each fall/stumble. What really matters is your approach to life and the path you find yourself in versus the direction of the journey you want to take.
No one will believe in your dreams and aspirations more than you would. Believing in yourself and abilities is important.
2014 till the past month (June 2015) Has been a rough year to me, not only financially but emotionally as well. A lot happened, a lot of pain was unleashed. A few dreams were derailed, rejection was the order of each and every day. Friends turned their backs on me. Others pretended to have my back, spoke well of me in front of potential clients only to discredit me behind closed doors based on my past failures and mistakes. Others folded their arms and waited for me to exhaust all options and everything I had.
At first, I took all that negatively. Drank a lot. Cried a bit and locked myself up in a world that no one could find or reach me.
I allowed myself to be numb, distanced myself from everyone. At first, that seemed to be of some help. It felt good not explaining myself to anyone. What i didn't realize then was that, the more i shut the world out was the more the world evolved and progressed right in front of my eyes. That is how I got left out and missed out on opportunities and chances to advance myself in life or change my situation.
Truth be told, we all have ourselves to blame for everything that we are or have become. Life will happen the way it was meant to happen, there is little we can do to change fate, but we have the power to control how we react to every situation we find ourselves in.
One evening of drinking in the dark by myself, I suddenly realized how I have failed to learn one simple lesson about life: " No one owes you anything in this world. You owe it to yourself to be what you aspire to be."
That hit me hard and made me look back at how much time, resources and opportunities I had lost through how I have been reacting to all the rejection and ill treatment from family, friends and colleagues. I could have made the choice to stand on my own 15 years ago, who knows, maybe I would have traveled half the world as I had traveled half of South Africa. I could have started my company earlier and helped more young men realize the importance of self belief and grow an understanding on what it means to be "a man". Maybe i could have met half the individuals I look up to and gather knowledge on how to follow on their footsteps and carry on from where they have left off.
"Maybe" and "If only..." are words I can not live by anymore but can reflect on and learn from.
" I will" and "I can" are words I have adopted and will live by for as long as I am alive and are willing to pick myself up and give life a second third shot.
As a young man, i encourage you not to be a victim of your circumstances or imagination. Do away with: " what if things don't work out"? Do away with: "If people with degrees and PhD's can't make it, who am I to think i can do it?"
You have control over what you want to achieve. If you can dream and think it about it, surely you can apply yourself into doing it and maintaining it.
Do not be dismayed by what life might throw at you. Do not be dissuaded by your age or achievements thus far, or let those who have not yet been exposed to the harsh realities the majority of the population is currently living under get to you/break you down.
As long as you have good health, determination, courage and hope, strength and good planning, nothing will stop you from achieving all that you dream of achieving.
You have made it thus far, fix yourself and invest more energy, time and dedication towards shaping your today in preparation for a better tomorrow.
My name is Sithembile Ngcobo, a young man learnig to let go of what has been and focus on what could be. Who are you and what are you prepared to learn to let go?
" Life is what you choose it to become, you have no one to blame for how it turns out like if you do not take control of it."
