Learning to Accept

Who are we...?



We are who we are because of what we have been exposed to. We are how we think because of debates, conversations, arguments, listening, reading and any other form of exchange of information. All that we are helps us shape our future in many ways. It can help us avoid unnecessary arguments. It can shape and strengthen existing and paly a major role in shaping future bonds.

 

A lot of people assume and believe that "Truth hurts".....my thought on that is: Truth hurts, only if it comes from people who do not value you, people who are blunt and self centred, people who have been hurt by being confronted about matters relating to their behaviour or for being in denial and reacting negatively when confronted. We are who we allow ourselves to become. We are how we react to situations around us. We are also what we allow ourselves to believe what every has been saying we are. We forget to define ourselves according to our circumstances/conditions or desired goals.

What are we...?



Hurt people hurt people.

In most cases, hurt people fear experiencing the feeling of being hurt. Their best defence mechanism they apply is hurting others before anyone can see through them and spot the vulnerability they are trying to hide. Have you ever encountered a person so scared of settling with someone whom they think might be weak or not doing enough to change their circumstances for the better? Have you ever been in a conversation where one or two individuals would speak the loudest about age limit on reaching certain goals and how embarrassing it is for a man/woman of a certain age who has not achieved what they have achieved?

"Tough love" might be a good way to motivate a person to work harder, but what is tough love when you are using it to hide your own vulnerability and consciously break someone down in the process? What is being hard on a friend amount to if your motives are to show everyone how better you are than everyone?

Before jumping into conclusions or assuming, have you ever given yourself time to understand your friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/relative,etc? Have you ever given yourself time to listen with the intention to understand more than an urge to respond? 

Hurt people were never born hurtful or defensive. It takes years of repeated emotional/physical abuse to push them towards becoming that which they initially feared. It takes a lot of rejection to turn a person into a shadow over what they aspired to become.

Being misunderstood by those you trust with your past can send you spiralling down a path of self destruction. It can break you and result in you completely giving up on ever making it through in life.

Effort, failure, attempts to try again, encouragement.....these and many more positive support from those in your life can be all the difference one needs to keep going and never giving up. The opposite of that is as toxic as a tongue that whispers words of hope, only to turn around and share your shortfalls with the world.

"Hurt people hurt people.....not by choice at times, but the hurt happens and remains with those who got hurt."

There will come a time in life where you will have to decide which person you want to become. Not all 25 year olds make it through tertiary with diplomas or degrees. Not all 30+ year olds are financially stable or in a position to purchase property, have holidays abroad, luxurious vehicles,etc....that doesn't mean they are not silently making efforts to change that.

That doesn't mean their attempts are weak. That doesn't mean they have failed in life. As much as nature has to retain a certain balance on everything, that doesn't mean we should impose our lifestyle or expectations on those who were not awarded the same kind of opportunities we had.

 

Moving on

History only becomes a reality when we look back at how good/bad we did. History becomes a point of reference only if we choose to admit our yesterdays without feeling a sense of resentment towards ourselves for the bad choices we made or towards those who have wronged us, hurt us, betrayed us or achieved more than we did. The only way to make a difference in your life  is taking each day as it comes. Take the negative criticism and use it to your advantage.

Take your rejection and use it as your own measuring tool. Use it to gauge how far you have come, how far you've fallen back or how much further you need to go, even if it's by yourself. The best that you can do in any situation is to find 1 positive outcome and find a plan to use that moment to better yourself.

There are plenty opportunities around you. Yours is to spot them and make the most out of them.

DO NOT BE DISUADED by anyone or anything.