Become that person...

Becoming that Person…..

Is as easy as one two 3….becoming someone you’re not takes not a year, a day or a month. It takes a subconscious decision you make every time you fight and argue your way through life, every time you try to voice out your opinions, feelings or objections.

Becoming that person doesn’t take much. At times, it is as hard and as easy as taking a horse ride and trying to force it to have a drink knowing well it has made up its mind against doing so. At times, we become so focused at pointing out what went wrong, what is going wrong and how it went wrong and focus less on how to fix things, make amends, rebuild the bridges we’ve burnt and add value to friendships, relationships, family ties, brotherhood and sisterhoods. What is the point of lamenting on the past if one doesn’t make means to fix the present and build for the future? Is there a need to highlight others shortcomings or pointing and singling out all that is wrong and offer no solutions or a resolutions? I believe that makes you not person poised at moving forward, but makes you part of the problem and adds more frustrations than necessary.

If it weren’t for our traits as humans to falter every now and then, none of us would stand out or make any form of an impression on others, encourage others to change for the better, inspire others to be better than what they are or motivate others to inspire others. Each one help one, but the first form of help starts with self, spreads with dedication and blossoms with commitment.

Commit to yourself, commit yourself to your believes, commit to your values.

Becoming that person can be a good or bad thing depending on how that person shares his/her values with the world.

Once upon a time, when our innocence was intact, we knew nothing about betrayal. We knew less about success, yet wanted it. We knew pain, but never paid much attention to it for the affection we got from the same people who dished out the beatings, be it verbal or physical, was too overwhelming to forget about the love they had for us and wouldn’t let us dwell on the momentary lashings they handed out.

Once upon a time, before our minds got diluted with the standards of success the world has set, we knew less about “individualism within a team”. We knew less about egos and how easy they could be inflated and how hard they’d affect us should they not be stroked and caressed.

Back then, not so long ago, we worked as a collective, never voiced out any frustrations, aimed to resolve them in silence till it became too much to bare. Till we woke up and we’ve become that person; those people; those brothers,sisters,aunts and uncles that everybody hates and we tried hard not to become.

We woke up full of criticism, anger, frustrations and verbal constipation. We woke up with minds clouded by perception, restrictions brought about fear of disappointing others. We woke up with hearts full of grief, self pity, resentment and traces or hatred.

Becoming that person is as easy as not acknowledging that life is what you make it out to be. That how you decide to handle what happens in it is entirely your choice and that you are as free as the day you decided to stand up for what you believe in.

Becoming that person can be a good or a bad thing, depending on how and where you got your mind focused.

Learning to let go....nobody said it will be easy, nobody said it will be impossible either.

Conflict of Interest....

"Conflict of interest…

Smiles last longer while words remain unsaid, twirling and twisting in each other’s minds like tides in an ocean, constantly urging and challenging the waves to go further inland in.

Smiles lost in each other as lips lock for the first time, turning thoughts into reality, satisfying all curiosity and fantasies……bliss….satisfaction, new beginnings.

Smiles, lost in time as words unsaid manifest and turn into bitter words, words full of disappointments...slowly turning into resentment.

Conflict of interest…..that is what we MEN are to ourselves.

We love a loving women, we love attention, affection and throwing tantrums.

We love flexing our muscles, showing our physical strengths and superiority….that’s in our D.N.A, and that’s our favorite excuse whenever we feel the need.

We love to dominate and also be dominated, we use our “heads” more with less thorough thought put. We are a loving creature that doesn’t know how to show love without being showed, we are a loving creature that easily gets frustrated and easily shaken. We are a loving creature that if let loose, we lose ourselves in the excitement of freedom and let our heads do the thinking without much thought being really applied.

We are a caring species, as much as we won’t show it well in actions or refrain from talking about it, we are a loving species.

We are also the masters of deception, liars with a wry sweet charming smile, manipulators and hurtful bastards.

We are uncaring, hurtful and full of ignorance and arrogance……We live to fuck and fuck to live when all’s lost.

We are a weak species, strong physically yet not capable of sustaining a home without the help of our necks, our other halves, the better ones than us when it comes to all attributes needed to build and sustain a functioning home.

We are just that…..many words can describe us, many a story can be told about the different kinds of us out there, many a woman can testify about our injustices, our cheating ways, our physical, verbal and emotional blackmail (black-male) and abuse

That is what we are, not because of our D.N.A, that’s just a fucked up excuse we have been allowed to use in order to justify our ways, mistakes and shortcomings. We are who we are because of the choices we make. Situations and circumstances may shape us and mould us, break us down or encourage us to surge on in a quest to discover our purposes and reasons for loving and living, but he choices we take or make each time we run into any form of difficulties make us the men we are today and will eventually end up being tomorrow.

Conflict of interest……

an act less understood by many a man through his actions, thoughts and goals.

We want a loving woman, but can’t get enough of a good shag from that one girl we’ve always wanted and enjoyed doing.

We want a huge house with many cars by a certain age, yet we forget a lifestyle is a repetition of desired results over and over till the mind is subdued into thinking what is desired and known is the only way to live life and do things.

We forget that what we are limited into knowing and doing is what we were or have been exposed to.

We forget life doesn’t begin or end with us and that what we set our minds into doing can either make us or break us.

We forget that our dicks have “heads” that aren’t capable of thinking for themselves.

We forget that we are not “superman’s and Batmans” of our modern society but we are super heroes to those we prove worthy to each and every day.

We also forget that there is forgiveness after doubts.

There is redemption after faltering and there is always a way back after straying.

Conflict of interest, an act we’ve become well known for.

We can all be better at what we want, we cannot all be good at everything like everyone else, we cannot be who everyone wants us to be, but we can try to be a different person through mutual understanding, self belief, character building and molding and future needs assessment.

We can always choose to be who we want to be."

This is my brief description of what I am, what my brother is and the brother next to him is like. We are what we are because of the choices we make and stick with, we complicate things because of the simple decision we take for granted. We mess up because of lust, pride, stigma and other social challenges we pose upon ourselvesor take on unnecessarily.

Opportunities come not but once, but regrets last forever.....don't go down that lane and end up with missed opportunities and loads of regrets.

Ignorance is King.....

Ignorance is bliss on a young mind’s soul, walking around, oblivious to what was before he came about.

Arrogance, depriving one progress, change and a chance to fit in, blend in and get acquainted with the world and how it has evolved.

Adaptation, known less by those who can’t measure their own progress, achievements and shortfalls. All this means nothing to someone who’s mentality is stuck on showing the world how much “swag” “hustle and grind” they have been on.



Lost in Oblivion



Times have changed, times have changed people and people have changed with time, add to that circumstances that have molded them into being the characters we see today, time remains the constant factor and denominator in an equation who’s answer will always be the same, just derived in different methods,means and at a different rate.

Before we question others about this and that, have you ever thought of walking a mile in their shoes?

Before passing down judgment and pointing fingers, have you ever considered hearing one out and figuring out a way to help, aid or direct to relevant people who can offer assistance to whatever scenario one might be going through.

Before calling traditional practices barbaric, ancient, taboo and uncalled for, have you ever asked your father how his father was raised, or how your father’s family was raised and why culture and tradition mean everything to them?

Before calling yourself the best at what you do, have you ever took a minute to venture beyond your little world of deception and opened up to the world as seen by those you oppose or have different opinions on how they see life?

Before you knew sadness, hurt, pain or gloom, did you really knew love, joy and happiness and how easy it is to remain happy amidst your world falling apart right in front of your very own eyes?

Before calling it a day and giving up on everything you've worked hard for, do you ever remind yourself that what happened a minute ago can never be changed, but can be repeated? How it is repeated will define your will to live beyond the past minute/moment that yielded results less favored by your heart?

By the grace of God, “Amadlozi”, “Abaphansi” or “izinyanya”, you have come this far, done so much, gone through a lot, yet you remain adamant you have done it all by yourself, through your own cunning ways, negotiation skills, ability to manipulate situations and minds.

You so adamant about being the best there is out there that you forget you’re competing with yourself through people who have nothing to do with your egotistical lack self appreciation; confidence and affection.



Imvelaphi - My roots



You might not be financially struggling, you might be living a lavish life, you could be affording all that you want and more, but if you are still trying to show that to people less fortunate, still make noise about your “hustle and grind”, still impose your opinions on others, and splash out like there is no tomorrow, criticize without giving alternatives….to me, you are no different from an empty vessel, making the loudest noise for all to admire but have no contents that can be shared with anyone for mental sustenance, spiritual growth or personal growth.

Shadows stand tall and menacing just before the sun sets, darkness casts eerie figures all around you, fear grips your heart and seizes control of your reasoning ability. You find yourself running in circles, chasing shadows away from you forgetting that the very same shadow you are trying to run away from can be used as a measure of how big and tall you want to be. Turn a blind eye to what you are not and focus on who you want to be.

We are all in a quest and journey to self discovery, we all learn from others and emulate as we go ways and methods of how success is and should be derived, forgetting that a bit of our own ingenuity is what is needed to set us apart from repeating what has been done before, including mistakes, traps and pitfalls that can be avoided.

We learn new things every day, new ways of doing things, new meanings to what we’ve been calling life and new methods of solving issues and avoiding the past from repeating itself……that doesn’t have to change you as a person per say. It doesn’t mean you should drop your morals and be on a quest to investigate new and easier ways of making it with less sweat and toil. That doesn’t mean short cuts should be the order of the day all day everyday that doesn’t mean you should become unbearable and unaccommodating to those who haven’t discovered their own pots of gold.

Put away your fears, go forth and try be what you aspire to be. If it doesn’t happen this year, if it doesn’t happen in the next five years or decade, rest assured within that time, you will stumble across better means of re-defining your initial goal, you will allow time to mold you, you will accept change and adapt accordingly.

Strong tall trees might be rigid and tough compared to reeds by the river, just remember that strong winds can uproot them as if they were rooted on sandy soil compared to reeds that bend and sway with the wind instead of opposing it….!

Never fear letting go….it could be the beginning of a whole new life. The world is a vast place, ready to be molded, shaped, cultivated and natured towards your own expectations, desires and wishes.



Fields of pleanty



 All photographic material shot by: Sthe Ngcobo

There is a lot I want to know...from who though?

What do you call your Africa…..what do you call your “ubuntu”,

are we a modernized black society or a backward generation following an illusion of evolution through financial freedom and freedom to do whatever our hearts desire all in the name of human rights and personal growth?

What do you call your Africa, your home or Ubuntu…..? Are we a modernized white society still going around with our noses held up high or in the name of sophistication, evolution and upper social status that no other race can acquire, no matter how wealthy they become? White or black, are you not African….?

What do you call your Africa…..? Black as a black man, more harry than a black man, praising statues that portray animals of the jungle we black men are said to be similar to and act like yet we are still hated for being black?

What do you call your Africa, your sanctuary from international tax laws, urban jungles and haven for blue collar crimes punishable by a mere sanction on your couple of millions of dollars acquired through hard labor by those earning less than a percentage of your total gross income on your interest accumulating from lucrative deals said to benefit the economies, society and country at large…?

“This land was stolen from our fore fathers and their fore fathers fathers…we fought for it and through blood and teargas, we won it back…the struggle continues….we fight on, fighting for economic freedom and equality” Are those words we should use to shield off our personal agendas and motives?

Were you there when they fought for this what we call Freedom….are we free post the 94 elections and passing of new laws…?

Do we know what to do with the said freedom they fought for? How many years has it been since the fight began, what have we gained thus far…when will it end?

“It is because of the sacrifices made by our comrades, mothers, brothers, and fathers that you can go to a white school and gain “proper” education for yourself, your children and your children’s children…..”!! What about the “basic” education….? Why must there be “basic” ad “proper” education for the very same people said to be equal or must be equal in all terms and platforms…?

What do you call your Africa, your South Africa, the place you’ve known for most of your life to be home? Is it just home to you and your ignorance bliss…? Is it not haven for drug mules, dealers and human traffickers?

Is it not haven for corrupt officials trained at negotiating deals on the roads, courts, holding cells and high rising Gov departments where all the money is said to be used for personal gains and lavish lifestyles?

What do you call this a place you call it home? With so many a holiday to suit and please the ignorant man on the street who’s thoughts are restricted by the looming long weekend and the amount of ass and booze to be had?

What do you call this a place, with so many tenderpreneurs showing off their new money and senseless spending sprees on commodities who’s values deplete with each second on the road?

What do you call the life you are living, the direction you’ve taken and the personal goals you got your eyes on?

The eye sees what it wants to see, the brain shuts out what it doesn’t want the eye to see, but the heart bleeds tears of anguish with each injustice done to your fellow human being, albeit their skin color, race, clan or places of origin.

There is a lot I would love to know, ask and talk about….but who will answer me, answer you or us should we raise our concerns?

Are we only good enough to be told what we hope to hear or will we be strong enough to stomach the truth, tainted or otherwise? Do we have the strength to accept it? Will we be able to know it should we get exposed to it or will our eyes be misguided and eluded from it by the bent and altered version of it?

Is there even such a thing as the truth anymore in the world we are living in……What do you call this a place that you wake up to every morning? Is it the promised land you hoped for? Is it the dreams of those said to have shed their blood for?

What is this, that you call your Africa, your Ubuntu, your Equality, your humanity……?

Are you an African, South African a Zulu or Xhosa when it suits you or need be….or are you a child of the soil, breathing the same air as our ancestors breath during their times….?

What is it that you are afraid of the most….? What is it that you are afraid to confront? What is it that you are living for....?

When I'm all grey and wrinkled

The day I grow old…..when my head’s all grey and eyes blurry, will I be remembered for the good I did, the humanity I showed or the pride I showed with each step I took, prancing like a horse on show,parading my ego?

The day I grow old, what memories of self would I have, all the blunders I made, will they come back to haunt me?

All the chances I lost out on, will they come back to taunt my mind with “what if’s” and “I wonder where I would’ve been if I had went along and took that risk”.

The day I grow old……would my grand children watch me wither in solitude like a fallen leaf blown into a slow flowing stream?

Will my own flesh and blood resent me for the anger, harshness and negligence?

The day I grow old, what would I have left in this world apart from memories of times we partied till the sun came up, drank till we passed out, only to remember less of the drinking spree or the people we drank with…..?

What legacy am I suppose to leave behind if I have never been introduced to one?

Will my advancement in my field of work mean anything?

What moral values am I suppose to pass on, do I even know what those are when I am still content with pointing out defects on those I call friends and family?

The day I grow old….and find myself empty and shallow would be the day I acknowledge I have lived one too many hours without realizing my worth and potential.

Adaptation......

Adaptation…….

I don’t know how it began or why it begun

Who it started with or where it began…

One thing I know is that it is necessary for surviving and advancing further in life.

I don’t know much about the word, but I know I got to keep on moving and change with times, even though time itself never changes yet moves on steadily.

I know I got to adapt, does that mean I got to change completely or partially?

Doesn’t “changing partially” mean one has changed, regardless of how much change he/she has undergone?

What is this adaptation if all we ever do is reflect on the past forgetting to look for solutions for tomorrow?

I adapt…how?

How do I shape up for an hour I know less about or know what it’ll bring, let alone how it’ll turn out to be?

What is tomorrow if not a couple of hours away from the first hour you started counting down the minutes left in this day?

What is this adaptation when I still walk up straight like the so called prime-mates from way back then, when and where time was not so much an important factor?

Is adaptation different from evolution?

When we evolve, we become better, and we make do with what we have the best way we could under those certain circumstances…

What about adaptation?

Adaptation: Does it mean I can  be the same person I was yesterday and claim to have grown or changed if there isn’t any substantial change or growth to show or boast about?

We are a backward generation moving forward in a high paced rate with no definite or concrete assurance of any desirable destination.

We speak of destiny as if we’ve seen our tomorrow….if that were the case, why haven’t we jumped all the sad aspects, moments, circumstances, trials and tribulations and fast forwarded to happier times and moments or to our “destiny”?

Adaptation…are we living in an imaginary world or does it really does exist?

Learn to let go……

Talk is everything...cheap or otherwise....

They say talk is cheap if you do not walk the talk and live the talk……

Promises are nothing more but cheap talk if they are not fulfilled right? What do you make of them or call them should they get fulfilled, cheap talk? Expensive talk? Is there such a thing?

Blah blah bla this and yadi yadi yadi that…I am great at doing this, I am greater than my whole family combined, my brains sustains my family, the money I make can feed you and your family for a year….etc…!! All that is cheap talk right….?

I applaud those who can speak their minds out freely and carelessly. As bad a thing as it is, I get it that it liberates their thoughts and their actions are backed by their words.

I applaud those who are selfish with themselves, as much as they take from others, have expectations from others, and horde everything else to themselves, they sure know how to save themselves pain, chances of being taken advantage of, possibilities of losing possessions or emotions they hold dear to heart.

I applaud those who do not care about anything else expect today. They seem to live in a world full not only on satisfactions but accomplishments. They live for today with no worries about tomorrow or what might go wrong or right should that tomorrow come. Their worries are limited and end once the sun goes down and sleep takes over.

I applaud those living in a fantasy driven by arrogance and ignorance, deep down inside, we sometimes wish we could harness their ability to think that the world revolves around them or that their fathers built the universe and the whole galaxy……they think you and I owe them a favor for crossing paths with them…they think pride is everything that matters, screw everyone and everything else….!

I applaud those with no ambition, what more can they want? They got people to provide for them, they have inheritances waiting to fall onto their laps, they have everything them deem worth having without the experience of breaking a sweat……

I applaud all these people and many other more with similar mentalities, objectives and approach to life, for without them, my views and objectives in life would have been limited to a small portion of possibilities and no encouragement to do better would have been gained in any ways….

 I applaud the most, those, who against all odds, made it past the milestone their parents and parent’s parents left off.

Those raising a string of cousins, aunts and relatives with a salary other’s call “an installment for my German Beauty minus the fuel she consumes”.

Those playing father and mother roles to families of 5 all younger than 20 years in age.

Those selfless enough to adopt that child from the corner who’s parents gave up on him/her and her ambitions to have a matric certificate under his/her name.

Those selfless enough to give back to the community without fishing for applause and rewards from politicians, community leaders or prominent beings with high social ranks/standings.

Those who pass on the knowledge they have, the cultural teachings, character molding and instilling values and morals to the next generation.

I applaud those who live in the suburbs but they have never forgotten their roots….and still have a strong respect for their tradition and culture.

I give thanks to you, for being who you are, for sharing your thoughts, for sharing your knowledge, for sharing your views and for helping me become who I am today by reflecting on your doings, the path you’ve taken, your failures, successes and determination to making a change.

Talk is cheap after all, question is, who can put monetary value on your life and what you choose to listen to or emulate? Be the change you want to see in the world and never be scared to speak your mind out, follow your heart, be foolish or admit you’ve made the wrong choices or took a wrong turn somewhere down the line……Life is all about that and more. The known, the mysterious, the ups and downs, bad and good choices, lighting a fire and getting burnt to knowing how to control the flame.

Life is you and you are what you make of it…..

Learn to let it all go…talk is cheap but a few can put value to many a word said and unsaid!