Learning to let go

I know what is waiting for me

“There is little that I can do to prevent what is coming my way if I continue to ignore the glaring signs and live my life pretending I am different or that I will do things differently once I reach a certain age. I have seen through my father, my uncles and their brothers, how my life can turn out to be like if I keep on ignoring these signs.”

Some wake-up calls come in a form of death in a family and the sudden change in behaviour between family members who cannot tolerate each other. When everyone is gathered to lay to rest a family member, a temporary truce is put into place. Those who hate each other find a chance/moment to put aside their differences and focus on burying the deceased with dignity. At that very moment, silently observing how close your cousins are with their parents and siblings can leave you wondering where did your life go wrong?

Seeing how they support each other, help each other out without having to ask to be helped, how they encourage each other and amplify the good in each other can leave you wanting to be a part of their family.

The pain of having an absent present parent is heart breaking to a boy child, especially when he reaches a stage where he can make sense of his past hurtful moments, experienced in the hands of those he calls family and how they react towards him in the presence of other family members. The most painful part being hearing someone ask his father: “How is your son doing?” and his responds by saying:

“I don’t know, I do not talk to him much.”

As a young man, you will be destroyed by such words. You will be ashamed to call him your father in front of everyone knowing he has subliminally let everyone know how little your growth means to him. Bad memories will cloud your mind and fill your heart with anger and disappointment. At that very moment, you will find yourself caught between a hard place and a rock. Your reaction will subconsciously determine the kind of a man you will become in future.

 

If anger and hate win over your will to do better, you will stand a chance of becoming a bitter person yourself. The pain of watching his brother’s children laugh and interact with your uncle will shatter your heart into many pieces and turn you into a similar version of the man who helped bring you into this world, a heartless man who doesn’t know how to love his own flesh and blood.

As young adults, we are expected to be better fathers yet we are not taught at an early stage how to be better men. Were expected to forget the influence of the circumstances we were brought up under and change to be better versions of our own fathers without having access to them to teach us anything about being a father. It is easy to point out what is wrong in a person but difficult to help that person change for the better. It is easy to want a perfect man, but difficult to contribute towards building one, especially if he has been through a lot in his life.

 

 It is every man’s dream to find a good woman. The kind that is pure at heart, has no child or drama, is well educated and earns well, etc, but it is hard to accept that most of the women today are the way that they are today, because of us men not willing to play our roles as structures of support in their lives. Instead, we cheat on them, abuse and use them for sexual benefits. We see them in the same light as the one broken woman who ended up breaking us in the process. Likewise with absent fathers/mothers, the pain they bring into your life can harm those who had nothing to do with it. The rejection, the many years of being mistreated and subsequent favouritism shown to children

The hurt you cause someone today will end up being grief that the person you have hurt will exert on an innocent soul who had nothing to do with the pain you caused them.

 

“Most elderly people and grown folks complain about the youth of today forgetting they are the ones who raised it.”

A few people will have the courage to break it down to you on how your father/mother/aunt/uncle ended up being the bitter person you see today, even more disappointing is the fact that less will see the need to warn you when you are starting to become like them either. (Truth be told, miserable people don’t want to be alone in being miserable.) We are what we have been exposed to, especially us young men. We are the direct result of how our parents were raised.

“If he was never shown any love or given the chance to be close to his father, how can anyone expect you to be close to him or be a better version of him?”

If you were raised under harsh conditions, how can anyone expect you to be understanding and be a different man? At what stage/age do they think you will wake up to the realisation that you have to start being a better man when you are still trying to understand the reasons for your father’s absenteeism in your life?

I have lived long enough to know where I have gone wrong and where to start fixing my wrongs. I have seen the consequences of my shortcomings and know the kind of results they can have in future if I don’t make an effort to change my path. I will not wake up to a better tomorrow without building one today. I have lived long enough not to be scared to try a different approach to my challenges, live differently and relook all the beautiful ideas I had about life growing up. Happiness is a state of mind. That has been proven to be correct if we were to compare the childhood memories we had v/s how life has unfolded from then, right up to our present day. The visions we now have lack happiness due to the worries and problems we have inherited from absent parenting. Do not allow anyone destroy what you can become by allowing them to live their failed dreams through you.

This might not be applicable to you but it may help you gain a different perspective on how certain men in your life are the way they are.
If you already have a child outside of marriage and you are in your prime, I encourage you to try and be involved as much as you in your child’s life. Put aside your pride and fear of being judged for the mistakes you have made and think about the happiness of your child. Think not about what your family wants or what they think is right for your child. Your relationship with him/her starts with you willing to put your differences aside and getting involved emotionally and physically. You cannot always provide financially but you can fill the void money cannot buy by being present in your child’s life. .

“Be the change you want to see in your life. Never let fear hold you back from learning to let go."

Appreciation of Self.

   "People with positive attitudes are hard to defeat. A mind with              a positive approach to life will never be derailed from             reaching its goals by anything.   "

I got reminded of this by a  simple call to an old friend. It somewhat reminded me how easy it is to be misunderstood. How easy it is to be mistaken for someone who wants to be spoon-fed at all times and doesn't show initiative towards finding solutions to their issues/problems/circumstances.
This made me realize how strong a person I am for not giving up on my dreams and importantly for not dwelling on the past but braving the storms and moving forth. This made me realize how easy it is to be mistaken for someone who is forever complaining about his past or struggles he/she has been through. It also opened up my eyes to how important it is to protect your pain, speak less about it or share your bad experiences with anyone but those who have good intentions and want to see you grow from strength to strength, instead of those who want to know all about your struggles and be quick to remind you about them every time you try to move forward.
I know it is difficult to spot people who want to see you succeed from those pretending to have good intentions. Once you know the difference between the two, it will be up to you to keep away from those who indirectly destroy you and bring you down and associate yourself more with those who have best interest at heart for you.
You have nothing to lose in life except life itself. Be kind to yourself for you are all that you have in this world. Do not be fooled by anyone into believing what they say is your limitation.
Be strong in the decisions that you make or need to be taken, without making any decisions of your own about your life, someone else will. Without making any decisions in life, you will never gain any wisdom.

When you think you have no one to stand by your side, always remember this: You are an individual born with a courageous heart and a will to always stand up after each fall/stumble/blow you receive.

Society dictates that men should learn from an early age how to be strong and unflinching. The cons of that are the mental scars imprinted on a young man's mind as he grows up. Once a a child is broken and conditioned to be unapologetic in getting anything he thinks he is entitled to based on the facts that he is a "man" he will stop at nothing to get what he wants or thinks he deserves.

                                   "It is easier to raise a child into a strong man than it is to fix a broken man."

Near the end.......

How many times do you thank the Lord for taking away from you that which the mind wants but the hear is against, or that which the heart wants but the heart can not get?
When do we get reminded about time wasted...

chances never taken...
opportunities missed......
mistakes made....?

When do we remember time is not on our side or that it has never been on our side since the day we let out our first cry?
At the beginning of each year...
we draft resolutions....
make vows not to repeat the same mistakes we did the previous year...
We make plans not to fall into the same traps we fell for, we plan to avoid and cut off people who have brought us nothing but pain in our lives.
We plan ways of making more than we did forgetting that we have been living to see the end of each month instead of living to celebrate each day as it comes.
We plan and plan, forgetting that life is what happens while we are busy planning.
We marvel and praise those brave enough to cast their fears away and follow their gut feelings/hearts&intuition.
We call them lucky to have found mentors/person of reference. We call them lucky for having comfortable family backgrounds to afford to fund their ideas.
Instead of asking them how much of the "expensive hobbies" they had to sacrifice to get the attention they are enjoying now, we call them lucky.
Instead of asking what choices they had to make, we call them fortunate....
Instead of asking ourselves "what are we doing wrong?", we find fault in all those making it big each day.
We always have enough to get us through each weekend.
We always celebrate and spend on alcohol, materialistic possessions with little/no sentimental value.
We always have enough data to "like" posts on social platforms, criticize and entertain posts that have to do with other people's dirty laundry being aired in public.
We hardly research about our dreams...
We hardly follow disciplined individuals or business analyst.
We hardly invest or spend on those who can still have all that we missed out on, esp education...
We hardly encourage our cousins/half brothers/siblings,etc to do better than we did because we fear the very same people we were trying to impress by spending all we had on them will turn around and say: "but look at your younger brother,he is doing way better than you. You have always been a failure."

A small reminder to myself and maybe you as well:
"The past is one aspect of our lives we can never alter. We can never change it but can accept it and learn from mistakes made. Without learning, one never grows."
Near the end of it all, what pops to mind is regret.
We regret having a trusting nature.
We regret wearing our hearts on our sleeves.
We regret giving certain people a second 3rd/4th chance.
We regret opportunities we failed to capitalize on.
We regret not acting fast enough.
We regret not acting too fast
We regret not acting at all...
We regret, regret and regret some more.

What we hardly do is:
 (1) Ask ourselves what lessons can we gather from our actions?
 (2) We don't stand back and see what missing certain opportunities might have saved us from losing our essence and humility.
 (3) We hardly ask ourselves "why now Lord", instead, we curse God and everyone else for not getting what is not meant for us in the first place.
(4) We never ask those who have a broader view and perspective of what we have become for an honest feedback on "how we are really doing or what are we gravitating towards becoming.
Near the end of it all, only then do we realize how much we have messed up, wasted and squandered.
Let this be your wake up call.
Treat each day like it was your last few days left to make a difference.
Treat each morning as if it was your first morning waking up with dedication to go out there and be the difference you want to see in our life.
Be the change you want to see in your life.
Learn from your mistakes and never be too big headed to admit you messed up.
Life is a lifelong lesson with no test being the exactly the same as the next person's. Live it to the fullest and be proud of your achievements, small or big....

Cherish what you have....

You are a King/Queen, fooled to believing that you are nothing more than what you are told you are.

"May you be given wings to fly, roots to ground and remind you about where you have been and an abundance of water to sustain/nourish/replenish your soul in times of hardships."

What really matters......?

There are a few things in life that we all have to anticipate or have to deal sooner or later. As much as we strive to have as a lot of happy moments as opposed to difficult times, we can not turn a blind eye or run away from what might unexpectedly hit us. There will always be ups and downs, there will always be troubles and curve balls life will throw at you. There has been cases of educated and well paid individuals living on the streets after years of leading a successful lives. There has been cases of individuals who grew up with nothing and are leading firms/companies worth millions and millions of rands/dollars.
The difference between a successful person and one who hasn't made it yet is how the one who is successful reacted to what life dished out to him unexpectedly as opposed to the one who hasn't grasped the lessons life is trying to teach through harsh experiences/situations/circumstances. Your attitude towards any situation will always determine your altitude or how far you make it in life. How you choose to deal with a situation turns out to be testament that you are maturing well. That you are on a path that no one or nothing can derail you from. Have you ever asked yourself how does one gather wisdom? Have you never questioned yourself how certain individuals you aspire to be like manage to walk tall as if their lives have always been perfect? Have you ever asked yourself what is the person next to you going through or has been through?
Till you find answers to those questions, you will never appreciated your strength, abilities and capabilities. Till you understand that you are not the only one going through a rough patch, you will learn the hard way how to let go of that which you have no control over and focus on that which you can still change or improve on.

Self pity and regrets will lead you nowhere fast. They will hinder your progress and blind you from seeing possible opportunities/solutions to change your current circumstances. The only person who will get you out of what you are going through currently is yourself. Life happens for a reason, till you discover that reason, do not give up on what keeps your heart pumping and optimistic about a better tomorrow. Till that day comes, do not allow your past mistakes to hinder you and cloud your emotions. Till that day comes, focus more on what you can do better or differently.
What really matters in life is not where you have been but where you ultimately want to end up eventually. What really matters is what you can change in the present day and time instead of trying to change the hands of time. Wisdom is gained through bad decisions/choices/circumstances and problems inherited from family politics and unresolved issues.
What matters is how you pick yourself up after each fall/stumble. What really matters is your approach to life and the path you find yourself in versus the direction of the journey you want to take.
No one will believe in your dreams and aspirations more than you would. Believing in yourself and abilities is important.

2014 till the past month (June 2015) Has been a rough year to me, not only financially but emotionally as well. A lot happened, a lot of pain was unleashed. A few dreams were derailed, rejection was the order of each and every day. Friends turned their backs on me. Others pretended to have my back, spoke well of me in front of potential clients only to discredit me behind closed doors based on my past failures and mistakes. Others folded their arms and waited for me to exhaust all options and everything I had.
At first, I took all that negatively. Drank a lot. Cried a bit and locked myself up in a world that no one could find or reach me.
I allowed myself to be numb, distanced myself from everyone. At first, that seemed to be of some help. It felt good not explaining myself to anyone. What i didn't realize then was that, the more i shut the world out was the more the world evolved and progressed right in front of my eyes. That is how I got left out and missed out on opportunities and chances to advance myself in life or change my situation.
Truth be told, we all have ourselves to blame for everything that  we are or have become. Life will happen the way it was meant to happen, there is little we can do to change fate, but we have the power to control how we react to every situation we find ourselves in.
One evening of drinking in the dark by myself, I suddenly realized how I have failed to learn one simple lesson about life: " No one owes you anything in this world. You owe it to yourself to be what you aspire to be."
That hit me hard and made me look back at how much time, resources and opportunities I had lost through how I have been reacting to all the rejection and ill treatment from family, friends and colleagues. I could have made the choice to stand on my own 15 years ago, who knows, maybe I would have traveled half the world as I had traveled half of South Africa. I could have started my company earlier and helped more young men realize the importance of self belief and grow an understanding on what it means to be "a man". Maybe i could have met half the individuals I look up to and gather knowledge on how to follow on their footsteps and carry on from where they have left off.
"Maybe" and "If only..." are words I can not live by anymore but can reflect on and learn from.
" I will" and "I can" are words I have adopted and will live by for as long as I am alive and are willing to pick myself up and give life a second third shot.
As a young man, i encourage you not to be a victim of your circumstances or imagination. Do away with: " what if things don't work out"? Do away with: "If people with degrees and PhD's can't make it, who am I to think i can do it?"
You have control over what you want to achieve. If you can dream and think it about it, surely you can apply yourself into doing it and maintaining it.
Do not be dismayed by what life might throw at you. Do not be dissuaded by your age or achievements thus far, or let those who have not yet been exposed to the harsh realities the majority of the population is currently living under get to you/break you down.
As long as you have good health, determination, courage and hope, strength and good planning, nothing will stop you from achieving all that you dream of achieving.
You have made it thus far, fix yourself and invest more energy, time and dedication towards shaping your today in preparation for a better tomorrow.

My name is Sithembile Ngcobo, a young man learnig to let go of what has been and focus on what could be. Who are you and what are you prepared to learn to let go?

" Life is what you choose it to become, you have no one to blame for how it turns out like if you do not take control of it."

Dangers of Procrastination

                  Learning to Let Go

Procrastination

“I will do it tomorrow/latter/when I get time….etc.” How often do we say those words? How often do we allow people to give those words as satisfactory answers/solutions to our pressing matters?

Time lost is never regained. There is no better time than the present. Dreams and ideas become not a matter of “if time allows”, but a matter of “when I make time” for everything I want to achieve. Start with allowing yourself to make time to:

Think about it.

Plan it.

Execute it

Modify/restructure and try again.

It has been a while since I have allowed myself a chance to listen to my heart, listen to the silent impulsive voices of its beat and dance to its rhythm. It has been a while since I have allowed myself to just be and forget how things have been.

Reflecting on the past is always a commendable exercise to do, what we are not taught as young men is how to deal with the stagnant pain and sinkholes we find in our past. The pain of not knowing how to deal with pain doubles up and builds up pockets of pressure and frustrations that consumes us to a point where we lose ourselves to substance abuse, peer pressure and self-pity.



In life, you will encounter a number of different characters. There are 3 that stand out for me:

Those who will put you in difficult situations.

Those who will leave you when you encounter difficult situations.

Those who will stand by you and help you get back on your feet or get started.



You can be all these characters at once in certain cases. I know this because I too have played all 3 roles in my life.

The (i) Choices I’ve made in the past have seen me get into difficult situations. My (ii) ignorance has seen me get hurt and lose hope in ever finding happiness and seeing my dreams take flight. My (iii) trusting&forgiving nature has seen me getting burnt by the same flames I tried to douse and contain.

It is easy to become a victim of your own circumstances. It is easy to fall into traps that you unwittingly set yourself thinking you know where you put them and how to avoid them.

As a young man with dreams the size of my world, I urge you young person/old person/young at heart individual, not to be a victim of your own circumstances.

I urge you not to give up on that which comes from the heart due to frustrations of not finding suitable people to help you get started.

I urge you not to settle where pain resides. You will find nothing but regrets and pity parties there. Yesterday isn’t here today because it has to make room for tomorrow.

I urge you to encourage, motivate and give direction to those who are misled and confused by changing times and the era we are living in. Money is everything you need to make life easier, but respect; humility; selflessness are everything you need to sustain your rich heart & mind.

It all starts with you knowing what you are working towards. It all begins with wanting to start. It all begins with you wanting to see yourself through and help out where you can without any expectations of any form of monetary rewards or applause directed to you.

Where there is focus, dedication; courage and energy are bound to flow/follow….and results are always worth the effort put in.

It is with great pleasure to find myself once again. To focus on that which my heart sings about in silence. To focus on that which I dream about each day I hear/read or meet young successful individuals doing great in their fields.

If you read this and know anyone or you are offering mentorship opportunities or involved in the establishment of community based projects, I urge you to link me up with them.

My email address is: s.c.mbelu@gmail.com

My contact details are: 0718684508



Help me help those who need help and who are at the same age as I was when I needed help but no one was there to offer any.

“Be the change you want to see”, not just talk about

Rebuilding

Learning to let go.

Rebuilding

 

Rebuilding from scratch will sometimes feel/sound like a daunting task, when in fact it should be an experience or something we all should anticipate and look forward to. I mean, with everything that we have gone through and have been exposed to in life and the lessons we have learnt, rebuilding should be something worth looking forward to.

It might hurt to watch everything that you have worked hard for crumble in front of your eyes. It might hurt to have your reputation tarnished and dragged through the mud and have accusations thrown at you by people you trust the most/family or colleagues…..It sure will bring you down, leave you confused and have you questioning your abilities/potential and get you asking yourself questions like:  “why me?”; “When will it all end?”; “What did I do to deserve this?”. You will be crushed by the pain and have doubts ,you might even want to disappear from the face of the earth or go to a far off place where no one knows you or knows about the pain and struggles you are going through.

Feelings are as tricky as understanding rocket science is to a baker or a plumber. Ignoring them completely can have you turn into a cold heartless person liked by none. That could see you feeling lonely or empty inside, albeit being in a crowd. You will risk being alienated and cast off by those you want to be close to. Dwelling on them too much might see you get called too weak or too emotional. Allowing yourself to cry it out or speak openly about how you feel can also be a disadvantage as most people will assume you have something sad to complain about due to mistaking your openness with your emotions. I ask myself, where does one draw the line and know where not to be too disconnected with his/her emotions or where to just let it all go and cry his/her  heart out if it is pain you are feeling at that moment?

The struggles most of us young men face are more mental and emotional than anything. Defeat a man’s mind and he shall forever be at your mercy. Crush his ego and you would have managed to crush his manhood/masculinity and rule or control him.  A lot of battles that we fight and lose as young men/people always start with how we allow our fears to reign over our confidence. We then get frustrated and find it difficult to seek alternatives to resolve our issues or frustrations. The results are devastating, and they become habits which in turn grow into and get embodied them into our ways of thinking, doing, and acting. Getting physical or defensive then becomes second nature when faced with issues we don’t really understand or find easy to deal with. And when we push, hit/walk away from, or threaten those we find mentally challenging, we somehow get some sense of relief that we have chased our worries away and the only way to keep them at bay is by getting physical and showing how being physically strong sorts everything out. Not realising we are developing abusive habits/behaviour.

I understand how most young men end up on the streets. I now understand the kind of pain they might have felt that led them into running away from home or turning their backs on everyone due to accusations/mistreatment or suspicions from/by family. The past few months have been very difficult for me. I have been through enough pain to last 10 men 3 lifetimes worth of agony. From losing my work due to blunders made by those I was report to and discovering more of their mistake only to end up taking the fall for trying to protect their reputation, to having to deal with a father who had long given up on me and had the guts to tell me in my face how he was trying to prove a point to me that I can never be anything without him. Changing provinces and taking shelter with distant relatives, friends and strangers who felt sorry for me and adapting to a different set of rules and having to deal with difficult locals and language/cultural differences. Having to spend nights at a filling station waiting upon someone who is supposedly miles away yet I could hear laughter and voices from inside the house.

I am grateful I did not allow my thoughts to stray towards the dark side. I am grateful to have the strength and courage not to hold grudges or get bitter because of all the ill treatment I have received. The accusations that followed proved to me that at times, people will warm up to you, open up to you to gain your trust and make you feel comfortable enough around them to make you let your guard down. Just when you think everything is all good, they drop bomb shells on you and crush you when least expected. At first, it might start off as casual/indirect accusations associating you with acts that you wouldn’t normally be involved with. If that fails, they will try an even more direct approach and hope their stories tie up and the implications stick. If that also fails, as a last resort, they will straight up spread rumours about you and tarnish your reputation with each opportunity they will get should they manage to get away long enough from you and have those who trust you all to themselves. By the time you realise what has happened, it would have been a bit too late to explain yourself or salvage relations with family; friends or colleagues.

Most young men cannot take all that pressure, rejection and pain of being hurt by family. They seek out comfort in drugs and other abusive substances. The allow rage/anger to consume them and lose the will to live to fight another day. They take refuge in the streets, get broken even more by those who have been on the streets longer than them. They will develop means and ways to survive while they slowly watch their dreams and goals fade into oblivion. They then get reduced to mere shadows of their former selves.

Crush a man’s soul and watch him fade into nothingness.  With all that I have been through, I am even more determined to make a positive impact on other young men’s lives. I am even more determined not to allow my history to be my source of pain. I am even more determined to prove a point to myself that nothing that will come my way will be too much for me to handle.

Tell yourself that as well and watch your life transform. Changing is easy, adapting is not. A lot of people get changed more than they are able to adapt to changing times. They get broken and forget the virtues once instilled upon them. It is easy to give up on life. When you see plans not coming together as you would desire them to, giving up on your dreams feels like a sensible thing to do. Seeing others prosper right in front of your eyes with less effort put towards making a success of themselves will sometimes dissuade you or make you feel like you have wasted a lot of your time and resources chasing dreams. It is easy to try read out of other people’s book of life and take notes from there, forgetting that your chapter 10 might be their chapter one. It is easy to forget that we are called individuals for a reason, that we are not all the same or that we are not destined to have the same life.

Learn to let go of everything you do not have control over and always try to focus on what you are able to work with to shape a better tomorrow.

Keep this in mind:

“Dreams never die; they lay dormant waiting for that spike that will rekindle your interest in pursuing them once again”

Breaking point

"Bamboo strips hardly break when hit by strong winds, compared to rigid branches and twigs that can't sway with the wind. Move with the times, strive to adapt at all times. Get out of your comfort zone"

 The dangers of not being able to adapt to a new environment can break a person's moral and dreams. Being out of your comfort zone can see you question a lot of choices you make, question those whom you thought would be there to pick you up when you fall or hold your hand when you stray. It can lead you into thinking you were better off being where you were. Truth is, confusion is just a figment of one's imagination. Letting go of what we already know and trying to learn new ways of doing things is what we should all be trying to do.
We find it easy to run back to where we found comfort even though we know there are many restrictions and no room for growth or development. We get comfortable with not challenging ourselves fearing our plans and dreams aren't good enough to be given a shot. We get dismayed by a few harsh lessons in life that we were bound to be taught at one point. We avoid any discomfort that might knock us off our routine or prove to us how little we have lived.
A salary at the end of the month is great, but knowing you generate a lot of revenue towards the people who sign your pay cheque should be enough an encouragement to get you to try being your own boss/employer. Challenging yourself to do better takes a lot of guts, but the rewards and efforts are worth every cent you will spend trying to advance yourself.

Never be afraid to try. Tray and fail instead of failing to try.
Love yourself like a mother loves her new born baby. Give yourself your undivided attention, focus most of your energy towards learning from your past errors, ploughing what will be your fields of plenty. Give yourself credit as often as you breath in and out. Remind yourself that those who laugh at your attempts at making it are actually too scared to try take that bold step/move towards working on making their dreams a reality.
Keep a clear mind, avoiding negative thoughts, assumptions, envy and fear of making a mistake. If life came with a manual, I would have judged you for failing to follow instructions, but since it doesn't come with one, why fear what other people will say if your first attempt doesn't yield desired results?
I have been telling myself that things will be ok, not only have I been doing that but I have also started investing in myself, my talent and what I am passionate about....what is stopping you from doing the same?
What is stopping you from being where you wish to be?
We might not know our purpose at first, but what we can do better with our hands, with love and no mental restrictions could be a key to unlocking revelations to our purposes.

We never get what we wish and pray for in life, but we are given a life to live, a brain to use to think up ideas to make life worth living. We are given hands to work towards a better tomorrow. Above it all, we are given love for one another, we are a heart that is capable of believing whatever the mind tell is. Make the best of what you have, plant your seed in lush soil, nature it
Tell yourself you don't need to be vindictive, tell yourself you do not need to pull anyone down as you try to push yourself up. Tell yourself you can and will make it. Feed your mind and heart with positive thoughts. Encourage yourself to always look on the bright side of life.
Don't fall victim to your own circumstances, don't fall victim to the streets, don't blind yourself to a point where being loyal and simple will see you get used, robbed or manipulated into giving up your dreams.
The world out there is as harsh as a seasoned street thief. Don't let it catch you out.