Breaking out......

Humility……

It has been a long while since I have had the will to pick up a pen and paper and jot something down, tease my brain and force it to embrace reality.

Truth be told, I have been lazy to write about what I see, feel and experience each and every day . Instead, I have been relying on my images to convey all these feelings & emotions, thoughts and perceptions I have about life.

I have been bottling a lot of things inside. Emotions, thoughts, ideas and advice, mainly because I didn’t know how to voice it out, maybe because I feared I’ll be judged, maybe I was afraid my words would fail me and end up sounding like one of the many loud empty voices or I’d be seen as another “opinionated smart black”.

Being the impulsive person that I am, I decided to spend this year’s Easter weekend on the road. Started off by accepting an invitation to attend an exhibition in Jo’burg….Gauten, Maboneng, where every man’s dreams and fantasies are made possible. I went there with nothing to lose but a lot to gain. I saw what I am losing out on, I saw the smiles, heard the laughter and experienced the support for visual arts a lot of people have in that side of the world.

 I got reminded that there is nothing holding me back from exploring, I got reminded how good it felt to make a sale and see the authentic smile on a satisfied client’s face, I got reminded of how good life can be if one learns to let go of everything not worth worrying about and focus on the positive aspects of life, little or not. Such a mindset is bound to make you have the most out of the little that you have.

I found myself discussing my pros and cons with a friend of over 15 years, I discovered habits most people didn’t like about me but they have never had the guts to tell me in my face and these I wasn’t even aware of. I found out how annoying I can be, I found out how supportive I can be and how I give whole heartedly without any expectation of rewards of any sort.

I found out how I can better myself, how I am already on the right path to success but still fear embracing that.

I got offered opportunities; I got introduced to people doing it on their own without much help from their parents or affiliations. I saw how picking up a phone and making that call could yield positive results. I discovered what it means to throw oneself in the deep end and swim as if one has been swimming for ages. I shared ideas, shared perspectives and had my bit of contribution heard.

I made bad calls, forgot to make a few follow ups and disappointed friends along the way, all in all, it wasn’t intentional but it happened and there is less I can do to change that. What I can do though is invest more in me, introduce new means of stamping my foot down and saying no to doing favors and taking demands from people who aren’t willing to acknowledge what I can do and keep on getting better at.

This past weekend, I got introduced to a life without fear, a life full of opportunities, a life that requires one to work for the rewards, one that needed one to get out there and let the world know who he is and what is he about.

I got re-introduced to T.D Jakes…I got reminded how bad as a young man I have had it, I got reminded how much frustration I have been going through and how bad friends have added on top of that without me complaining, least I got reminded that men don’t cry or that men don’t whine.

I got introduced to a film maker from Chiawelo (Shawelo) in Soweto. The very same person who has been giving Metro cops from Jozi a headache with his efforts to make Spinning and drifting a legal sport in South Africa as a whole. I heard his story, heard about the movie and felt the passion behind each word he shared and understood what it meant to not look at where you come from but focus on where you want to be one day. It isn’t much about the way you start the race, it is how you participate during the race and how you finish that counts the most.

I shared a couple of photos in a brief morning meeting and immediately got introduced to words that went along with how I had portrayed what I had seen miles away from the person who made the song. I got introduced to a different side of Kabomo, heard him sing as well as rap, something I didn’t know much about. I know he is huge and got humbled to see how this rapper guy had thrown himself out there so that he could be heard and do collaboration with him.

I got held up in a road block that we had feared and hoped we would avoid till we get home. I got reminded how the power of thought and tongue could help “predict” or bring into fruition what you have told yourself will happen.

Humility……

This past weekend taught me how humility could open doors for you. This reminded me that life is not a sprint but an indefinite marathon that can end at any point and in any way!

“Humble yourself all the time, but never stoop so low that people ‘mistake’ you as their door mat”

Stay true to yourself, don’t let success change the being you were initially or allow greed to overcome your innocence. We are want to be heard, we all want to be appreciated, acknowledged and commended for the good that we are. Problem lies with how go about getting all this and how we react to negative results/outcomes.

We fear rejection, we loath those who shine brighter than us without putting much of an effort, we hate asking and fear sharing, least those we share with supersedes us and outshine us.  These and many other factors determine the beings we become, these shape and moulds us to beings we never wanted to become or ever dreamed of becoming. These can either make you the exemplary being, a beacon of light and an inspiration to generations to come or they can make you but leave you feeling empty inside, with nothing to hold on to or share with those close to you.

Respect your fears, acknowledge them but never allow them to restrict you from growing and reaching your goals.

It takes guts and courage to live life and make it in life. How you define: “ I’ve made it” is entirely dependent on how one sees himself/herself in years to come, could be 2 years, could be 10, etc….Without putting  effort, all those dreams/aspirations will never come to fruition. Growth will happen physically, change will be seen and acknowledged but mentally, financially and spiritually, we would be less developed.

When you are old and grey, with your strenght failing you, how would you want to be remembered?